好文: quit什么意思

尼克船长 40

小典说

书籍是人类进步的阶梯。小到幼童发蒙,大到精神求索,我们都可在书中寻得对症良方。

暑期将至,小典与大家谈谈为什么好的作文是‘读’出来的,在下文中破误区、讲方法、供范文、附评语,以小见大,分析阅读对写作的功用。

在培养英语能力的过程中,听、说、读、写四项基本技能起协同作用,缺一不可。

然而,我们看到很多网友一碰到让孩子写作环节就犯了难,比如,在知名问答社区知乎上,家长发起的关于孩子写作难题的求助比比皆是。

小学是英语兴趣培养和奠定基础的重要阶段,中学则要学业爬坡,瘸腿的写作势必影响孩子后续升学乃至一生的长远发展。

孩子写作为什么会瘸腿?写作难题怎么解决?优秀的英语作文是什么样的?

1

两大误区

影响孩子的英语写作

孩子英语写作不好,很多人第一反应:肯定是写的问题啊。于是开始拆解作文的组成部分,让孩子背单词、抠语法、套模板。

然而,不仅没达到预期效果,有时还适得其反。

生拼硬凑、千篇一律、逻辑混乱

甚至听到作文就抵触、厌倦……

小典想说,这些头痛医头、脚痛医脚的做法,其实治标不治本

众多英语教育及教学研究表明,中国孩子英语写作能力不足,背后存在着两大误区——

1)认识误区

孩子的英语能力、素养奠定主要是在学校课堂上完成的。

然而,《英语课堂教学策略——如何有效选择和运用》一书中指出,在教学中,有的教师把阅读教学仅仅看成语言点的讲授,认为学生只要多背词、多刷题即可,并不清楚阅读能力总目标下的微技能目标,严重忽视了对学生思维能力的培养。

还有不少教师认为写作教学似乎没有什么内容和技巧可以教授,学生只需抄抄词句、套用模板,成绩自会提高。这显然是对写作教学目标不熟悉。

重视不足,又缺少阅读及写作策略的正确引导和有效练习,久而久之,孩子自然对写作产生厌倦、畏惧心理。这与义务教育课标要求的英语学科核心素养背道而驰。

△英语学科核心素养

2)目标误区

将写作等同于考试作文、将写作能力等同于作文成绩的观念普遍存在,不少教师和家长认为分数即成果,这是本末倒置。

中国著名作家、《十万个为什么》主要作者叶永烈先生曾在央视《开讲啦》节目中晒出自己的黑历史——他的小学成绩单。

小学的叶永烈,不仅成绩都很普通,读书(语文)和作文两科更是不及格。

若只以成绩论英雄,恐怕这位无数人心中的启蒙作家在一年级就夭折了,不可能有五年级时尝试发表在报纸上的小诗,更不可能有后来3500万字的出版作品。

写作是一个人思维的阐释,创造力的发声,想象力的驰骋。八股范文只会束缚住孩子兴趣的翅膀。想要一步到位的急切,也会打击孩子的自信。

抱着写不好,就多写的想法,无法从根本上解决问题。美国二语习得专家史蒂芬·克拉申在研究中早已发现:

写作不是从写的过程中学的。

——《阅读的力量》

2

读写结合

才是解决问题的关键

既然只靠写无法解决问题,我们该怎么办?

英语教育专家、牛津大学访问学者霍庆文指出——

好的作文是读出来的。

国外著名语言学家、哈佛大学罗曼语言文学系教授威尔加·里弗斯(Wilga M. Rivers)在她关于二语教学的专著中强调:

写作,绝不是一项可以孤立学习的语言技能。只有通过大量地阅读外语语料,外语学习者才能获得对外语适宜和得体的遣词、造句等表达方式的真切体验,而这就是写作的基础。

读和写之间有着极其密切的关系,读的理解可以强化学生写的表达技能。由此可见,阅读是写作的前提和基础,写作又能提高阅读理解的能力,两者相互依存又相互促进。

——《外语教学技能》

Teaching Foreign-Language Skills

无独有偶,中国著名教育家叶圣陶先生也曾指出:

读与写关系密切。善读必易于达到善写,善写亦有裨于善读。二者皆运用思考之事,皆有关学科知识与生活经验之事,故而相同。

可见,以读为本,读写结合,以读促写,是学好英语、提升学生英语学科核心素养的有效方法。

3

典范成果

中小学英语写作有效实践

如何在教学中开展读写结合呢?

关键是做好这五个步骤——

1)选取内容丰富有趣、语言生动地道、主题意义深刻且难易程度适中的文本,作为读写结合教学的材料。

2)认真研读文本,引导学生了解阅读与写作的关联,明确读写结合点,从阅读自然迁移到写作。

3)深入解析文本,借助思维工具,提取关键信息,为学生提供可模仿的写作框架、思路、方法和内容。

4)深度挖掘主题,分析人物特点,启发学生联系生活实际,表达独到见解,拓展写作思路。

5)基于阅读文本,设计多元任务,鼓励学生充分发挥想象,激发创作欲望和热情。

自《典范英语》问世以来,全国很多学校将其列为英语阅读材料。

这些学校坚持实践《典范英语》倡导的以读为本和整进整出教学模式,开展整本书的多听、多读、多说、多写。坚持读写结合的方法,使得学科教学取得丰硕成果,孩子们也是受益良多。

我们精选出中小学阶段的部分优秀作文案例,并邀请英语教育专家、《英语世界》前主编魏令查教授点评,借此与大家一同分享读写结合的具体实践成果。

——《典范英语》中小学生写作范文——

案例1:仿写故事

姓名:曾怡霖(一年级)

学校:深圳育才一小

曾怡霖同学自一年级开始学习《典范英语》1级,读了几十个故事之后,兴趣非常浓厚,就尝试仿写。

点评

仿写,即模仿范文练习作文。学生通过细读范文,在理解基础上,学习其中的表达方法,进而在写作练习中加以运用。仿写是语言学习初级阶段一个重要且有效的学习写作的途径。

小学一年级的幼童,首先是喜欢绘画,其次才是文字。这篇仿写的图画很美,文字简单有趣,画面处处体现了作者对典范人物的喜爱,以及对用英语讲述故事的渴望。而呈现在我们面前的结果证明:选对绘本,才能成就孩子的阅读乃至创作兴趣。对一年级孩子来说,能用英语描述身边人物的日常生活,又能用画笔辅助,实在难能可贵。

案例2:扩写故事

姓名:王璟(四年级)

学校:朝阳外语小学

王璟同学自三年级开始学习《典范英语》,是外小第一届用典范故事学英语的孩子。刚开始,该生只能写几句简单的英文,仅仅一年的时间,就爱上了创作,可以独立改写、续写和扩写故事。这一篇是四年级上学期扩写的小故事。

The Spaceship

One day, Floppy was at the library. Floppy went to sleep and he began to dream. He dreamed about spaceship.

A spaceship landed. Wow! said Kipper. A real spaceship! A white dog looked at Floppy. An alien came out. I am Zig, he said. And this is my dog, Zog. Floppy looked at Zog. He liked Zog. Hello Zog! said Floppy. Let’s go into space, said Zig. Oh yes! said Kipper. Oh no! said Floppy. They went into the spaceship. Kipper was happy. Whoosh! The spaceship took off. It flew up into space. Floppy was afraid. He barked and barked.

What’s that? said Kipper. Oh no! said Zig. Fireballs! Floppy looked at the fireballs. Zig was unhappy.

Whoosh! Suddenly,there were fireballs all around them. Help! said Zog. What can we do? said Kipper. The fireballs fly fast! I don’t know, said Zig. Crash! A fireball hit them. The spaceship began to spin round. Everyone spin round too. Floppy was afraid again. Zig and Kipper bumped heads. Oh my head! said Kipper. Oh my head! said Zig. Zig and Kipper’s heads were hurt. Zig felt sick. Floppy saw a very big fireball. It was going to hit them. Zig and Kipper could not see the fireball. Floppy wanted to take off the fireball.

Help! said Floppy. We’re in danger! said Zog. I don’t know what to do. Kipper touched his head. I know what to do, said Floppy. I can fly the spaceship. So Floppy would fly the spaceship. Zog looked at Floppy. Zoom! Floppy flew the spaceship out of danger. Phew! Just in time, he said. Kipper and Zog were happy. The fireballs can’t hit us! said Zog. They went back to the earth. Well done, Space Dog Floppy. said Zig. You saved us!

Floppy can fly the spaceship, why can’t I? thought Zog. Zog was unhappy.

点评

扩写并非随心所欲地添油加醋,而是根据表达的需要在主干上添枝加叶,使句子或文章更具体形象,充实丰满。

这篇文章里,作者在原文基础上合理地增加内容,有效补充了原文细节,比如,第一句,增加了做梦的场景:图书馆。随后故事发展过程中,新增的细节,均自然天成,逻辑自洽。文末一句Floppy can fly the spaceship, why can’t I? 更是惹人遐思,给故事增添了更为悠远的余韵。通览全文,既可见作者在原文基础上吸收的语言点,也可见作者自行生发的表述。

案例3:读后续写

姓名:杨滨如 (四年级)

学校:成都外国语学校附属小学高新美年校区

杨滨如同学自2017年开始学习《典范英语》,两年后,其写作能力、想象力和创造力都得到了极大提高。以下是该生读完《典范英语》(6b)The Litter Queen后创作的续写。

Save the Princess of Flowers

Chip was falling. He was falling with the litter. There were cans and bottles and bags and wrappers. Everything was spinning round and round.

The magic key flew out of Chip’s pocket. It landed somewhere down below.

Help! Help! Get my key! cried Chip. But no villagers moved. All he saw was litter. Litter was in the grass. Litter was on the houses. Litter was even in the eyebrows of the villagers! Bump! Just at that time, Chip landed in a pile of litter too. It was very smelly. He looked around and found himself at the mouth of a cave. He walked in and found the magic key was lying ahead of him.

There was a beautiful but frightened girl locked in the cave too. She sobbed and said, My name is Rina. I am the princess of flowers. One day, the litter queen tricked me to this smelly place. I have been locked up here since then. The nasty smell is going to make me die. I feel my power fading away. If my power ends, my people will die too. Please help me! I need to save my people!

Oh no! Where are your people? asked Chip. Princess Rina pointed outside and said, Those villagers! They were captured by the Litter Queen and forced to collect litter without any rest. How horrible! Princess Rina began to cry. Chip nodded and stood up, Well, I can help. Stop crying!

Then Chip freed the princess with the magic key. Together they went to find the Litter Queen. The Queen was furious to see them. She used her power on the nasty rats to attack them. But the rats were caught by a big net with Princess Rina’s magic power.

At that moment, Chip threw all the litter cans and bags tothe Litter Queen. No! cried the Litter Queen, This place should be covered with litter! You are wrong! shouted Chip, Litter makes people sick!’’ Oh,I thought you liked litter. the Queen said. Not anymore!’’ Chip answered.

In the end, they won the fight. Princess Rina was so happy that she gave Chip the most precious flower in her kingdom, the flower of charity. The magic key was glowing again. Chip gave Princess Rina a big hug and waved goodbye. He walked through the magic door and went back home.

What an adventure! I think I will never litter again! thought Chip.

点评

读后续写,指从原文出发,遵循原文思路,对原文进行延伸。续写前,需做到熟读原文,故事情节烂熟于心,人物性格准确把握,全文旨意透彻理解。

本篇续写继承了原文寓教于乐的精髓:典范英语里垃圾女王的故事,竟然催生了现代版的英雄救美,Chip英勇解救了鲜花公主,情节奇妙。作者行文不但有动作,比如,falling,spinning等,而且有气味,比如smelly,更有气势如虹的排比,这些修辞手段极大地丰富了对人物的刻画,续写故事,因此生辉,写作技巧可谓娴熟,读来很是享受。内容主题上,与故事前情,一脉贯通,突显了环保主题。

案例4:创编故事

姓名:鲍东炜(三年级)

学校:人大附中实验小学

鲍东炜同学自一年级开始学习《典范英语》,以下是他读完《典范英语》(3b)The Space Ship之后独立创编的故事。

The Space Locust

Last summer, Peter was always hanging out with his friends in the park.

One day, he lost his shoes in the park. The shoes were Peter’s favourites. They were a birthday present from his father. Where are my shoes? I can’t go home without them! grumbled Peter.

Peter’s best friend, Sue, noticed that Peter was so upset about the missing shoes, so she decided to help Peter look for them.

Suddenly, Sue shouted at Peter, Look! It’s a flying saucer over there! Is it going to fly back to the space? Let’s take a look at it!

Wow! What an odd flying saucer! exclaimed Peter, Come on! They ran to the field, like two small bumblebees. As soon as they got there, the flying saucer just lifted off the ground. Peter and Sue boarded the skeet in time.

Look where we are! gasped Sue.

Inside the flying saucer, there was a room with complex push-buttons and precise instruments, and the floor was inlaid with a lot of odd decorations. I like this place! said Peter.

Peter and Sue started wandering inside. They found that the flying saucer was made up of two parts. They also saw different rooms. But strangely, they didn’t see anybody there.

In the other part of the flying saucer, Peter and Sue found a room with nothing inside but a black spot. As soon as they opened the door, they found the black spot getting bigger and bigger. It finally turned out to be a group of huge magical animals.

What are these strange things? yelled Sue.

They are the space locust army! I have seen them in Star Wars! shouted Peter. The animals got closer and closer to Sue and Peter. What can we do? They are coming to us! Sue called out.

I’ve seen them in the movie. They are afraid of the sun, heat or weapons… I have an idea. Follow me! whispered Peter. Then they ran back to the room with many push-buttons and control panels, We can make two parts separate. The other side will turn around toward the Sun. said Peter. He tried to control the panels. They will all die if they get close to it! said Sue.

Good idea!

Sue and Peter drove the flying saucer close to the sun as fast as they could. As they were getting near the sun, Sue pressed the button and separated the part carrying the space locust army group. The space locust army flew to the sun and were killed by the heat very fast.

Suddenly, Peter shouted, So, where are my missing shoes?

点评

创编的关键字是创,也就是说,无论在内容、情节、人物、修辞等方面都有新的开拓。

这篇作文,予人印象最深的是作者的用词,比如:hanging out, grumbled, upset, exclaimed, gasped, whispered等等,这些具体的词汇较之于泛泛的描写给文章平添了鲜活灵动的气息。文中提及星球大战,可见作者阅读之广,像《奇迹男孩》里主人公一样,他从阅读的获益,不仅体现在语言运用上,更体现在思想内涵上,两者相加,便构成了该文的独创性。细细读来,起伏情节,扣人心弦;待至读毕,余味犹存。

案例5:创编故事

姓名:Niarmie(五年级)

学校:北京市朝阳外语小学

Niarmie自三年级开始学习《典范英语》,以下是他在学习两年后创作的丛林冒险故事。

Jungle Adventure

It was summer and it got hotter and hotter. The sun shined brightly in the sky. The leaves hung lifeless on the trees. Biff and Chip were outside and had ice creams.

What a nice day! I love it! said Biff, We can have ice creams in summer. Yes, answered Chip, but it’s too hot.

Chip had an idea. He wanted to go to the woods. There are lots of trees in the woods and it must be much cooler, hesaid. Brilliant! said Biff, But I think the jungle is more exciting. I want to go to the jungle. But where can we find a jungle? asked Chip.

Just then, Kipper ran to them with the magic key. Hey! The key is glowing! he called. Maybe the key will take us to a jungle! Biff was very excited.

The children rushed into Biff’s room and the magic key took them to an adventure.

Oh, help! cried Kipper, Where are we going? Ha! shouted Biff and Chip, We are going to a jungle!

The magic key did take them to a jungle with dense trees, fragrant flowers, and various animals everywhere. It’s amazing! What a beautiful jungle! exclaimed Biff.

Biff had an idea. Let’s play a digging game!

The children picked up some sticks and began to dig. The soil was wet and loose, so they dug a very big hole soon. Chip jumped into the hole, but to his surprise, he began to sink. Help! he yelled, I’m sinking! Biff got a long branch.

Hold it! shouted Biff. But it was just a bit out of Chip’s reach. Suddenly, Chip stopped sinking and landed on a rock with both feet. Then Chip grabbed the branch. Biff and Kipper pulled him out. They dug the rock out with the sticks.

That’s a very strange rock, said Kipper.

Yes! It looks colorful and it saved me. Let’s keep it, said Chip.

They went to the waterfall to wash the rock, where they saw some crocodiles. The children were so scared that they tried to run away. Just then, they heard all the birds singing together. They gasped. They were so charmed by the singing that they could hardly move. The crocodiles came closer and closer. Just in time, the magic key began to glow and took them home.

Biff still had the rock from the adventure, but now it was as small as her palm. She took the stone to Mum. Mum said it was a rare and valuable stone. All the children were very happy.

What an exciting adventure!

点评

本篇属创编故事。天热则需纳凉,文章起笔自然。开启历险之旅后,先陷深坑,后遇鳄鱼,惊险不断,水中的庞然大物如此引人注目,致使我们完全可以忽略waterfall(瀑布)前的冠词小误。

另外,作者描述性语词的运用,贴切给力,比如dense,fragrant,various等,可见其阅读累积,足敷略嫌繁复的描述。通篇读来,忍俊之外,倒也酣畅。

案例6:创编故事

姓名:Kevin(六年级)

学校:深圳市育才第一小学

Kevin自2008年起学习《典范英语》,经过六年的学习,其英语能力有了质的飞跃,以下是他在读完《典范英语》(6b)Egyptian Adventure后创作的故事。

Rainforest Adventure

Nadim came to stay at Biff and Chip’s house. He brought a book. It was calledRainforest Adventurewith many interesting pictures of animals and plants in it.

Look at this! It tells you how to make a raft! said Chip. I’d love to go to the rainforest in Brazil, commented Biff.

But it’s really dangerous there. You will come across strange animals, like piranhas and poisonous spiders, rebutted Chip.

Isn’t that interesting? asked Biff.

Suddenly, the magic key began to glow. The magic took the children off on another adventure. It took them to the rainforest in Brazil.

Wow! There are so many different plants that I’ve never seen before, exclaimed Biff.

Look at this! An orange frog! shouted Chip, I’m going to take it home.

Don’t touch it. It might be poisonous, warned Nadim.

They were walking curiously in the jungle when Floppy started to bark.

Stop barking! called Biff, You scared the birds!

Wait a moment, said Chip nervously, I think Floppy is trying to warn us.

At that moment, they heard something rustling and noticed a huge and long creature slithering towards them. It was a 10-metre-long anaconda! Run! cried Nadim. They ran as quickly as their legs could carry them until they could hardly breathe.

I think we are safe now, panted Chip.I’m really hungry, said Biff.

And I’m about to die of thirst. It’s so hot and humid here, thought Floppy.

He walked slowly with his ears drooping. Suddenly, Floppy got excited. He dashed through the trees.

Come back, Floppy! cried Chip, Where are you going?

I think he wants us to follow him, said Nadim.

They ran after Floppy. Then they heard the water splashing and saw Floppy jumping in the river like mad.

Floppy has found us a river! exclaimed Biff.

The children were exhilarated and jumped into the river after Floppy. When they had a good wash and cooled themselves down, hunger began to strike.

But we don’t know how to make a raft,said Biff.

I remember the instructions in the bookon how to make a raft, said Nadim confidently.

I’m so hungry. We must find some food,said Chip.

We can make a raft and catch some fishin the middle of the river, suggested Nadim.

They collected some wood. With the ropes in Biff’s rucksack, they made a raft. Chip made a fishing pole using a stick, a rope and a clip as the hook. Nadim brought some worms as bait. They pushed the raft into the water, jumped onto it, steered it to the middle of the river and sat down quietly waiting the fish to bite.

Two minutes later, they caught a fish.Then one more, and another. I think the fish here are idiots, laughed Biff,They just bite everything they find.

The boys couldn’t wait to go on the shore. They made a camp fire and roasted the fish.

This is the most delicious food I’ve ever had, exclaimed Chip. But I’m still hungry, said Nadim.

Let’s catch some more, shouted Biff.

They went back onto the raft. But before they came to the middle of the river, a crocodile emerged from the surface of the water and started to bite the raft with his jaw.

It must be the smell of the roast fish, murmured Biff.

The raft will soon capsize if it continues, said Nadim nervously, We must do something.

I’ve got an idea, said Chip slowly. He took out some balloons from his pocket, blew them up and tied them to the sides of the raft. When the crocodile attacked again, it bit a balloon. The balloon exploded with a loud noise. The crocodile was scared and swam away.

The magic key began to glow. It was time for the adventure to end.

Phew! What an adventure!

点评

读罢此文,除了感叹作者想象奇特,我还对另两点印象深刻:表示说话的措辞丰富且生动,比如:exclaim,rebut, pant等,此其一;其二:句式地道,比如等立连词when的使用,表示饥饿时用hunger做主语,这些迥异于汉语的表述方式,倘若没有大量阅读做铺垫,显然无法如此自然地流出笔端。凭借这些语言优势,人物形象自然鲜活起来,情节推进,则如行云流水了。阅读如此文章,自是享受。

案例7:读后感

姓名:任逸飞(初一)

学校:太原外国语学校

任逸飞同学初一开始学习《典范英语》,一个学期后,英语取得了巨大进步,写作能力也有了迅速提高。以下是该生读完《典范英语》(7)的故事Princess Pip’s Holiday后写的一篇读后感。

Happiness Is Around Us

Recently, I read a book calledPrincess Pip’s Holiday. It is such an interesting book that I could not help finishing it in one go.

This story is about Princess Pip and her holiday with her royal family. When Princess Pip discovered that she was going to a castle, as boring as her home for her holiday, she just wanted to go home. However, during the holiday, her maid Daisy showed her how much fun the seaside could be. Pip found herself not having a thought about going home ever after.

In the story, the protagonist Pip usually complained, It’s boring. Is life really boring? I do not think so. We children are just like flowers. We should smile to the world with an active heart when the first sunshine of the day gently touches our sleeping eyes. We should not think everything is boring; instead, we should try to see the world in another way. Don’t think our world is black and white. In fact, the world is colorful. We may have many problems and be in a bad mood, however, with apositive attitude, we can finally find happiness like Princess Pip did.

Happiness is around us all the time, isn’t it? It has no shape, no colour and no weight. It cannot be seen or touched, but everyone wants it very much. People try to pursue happiness in many ways. Some think money means happiness, so they try their best to make much money; some believe that knowledge can bring them happiness, so they study very hard; some others find good health is the root of all happiness, so they take part in all kinds of sports and games.

I am sure that you will get happiness in three ways. First, help others. Lei Feng set a good example for all of us. He served the people whole heartedly till the last minute of his life. He regarded serving the people as the happiest thing in the world. We can find lots of other similar examples. Second, be loved by others. Encouragement from our parents when we are frustrated, help from our friends when we are in trouble etc., all of these will make us the happiest in the world. Last but not least, act happily. Putting on a happy face and thinking about interesting things are helpful in triggering our happy feelings.

Happiness is precious, but it is easy to get. Let’s go and find it together!

点评

步入初中,可以尝试读后感的写作了。读后感通常需要基于文本细读、准确理解、简要概括和深入思考。

这篇文章是由一部初章书引发的思考:生活中会遇到问题,会产生情绪,这时我们该以何种态度面对?幸福在哪里?如何才能幸福?貌似深奥的哲理,在作者笔下,却条理清晰地娓娓道来。作者讲述幸福没有形状,没有颜色,也没有重量时,我们不由感叹其用词之准确,文笔之细腻。而当作者抛出问题,最终给出幸福方案时,我们又不由自主地惊讶于作者逻辑的严谨,行文的流畅。

别的不说,单是非常专业的protagonist一词的使用,就显得作者用词颇为考究。当语言和思想兼具时,读后感便不再仅是原有故事情节的简单复述了。

案例8:读后续写

姓名:孙忆晴(初二)

学校:人大附中西山学校

孙忆晴同学自初二起开始学习《典范英语》,经过一年的学习,她的语言能力和思维能力都得到极大提高。以下是她在读完《典范英语》(8)Stinky Street后,发挥想象续写的一篇作文。

An Imaginary Sequel to Stinky Street

Previously onStinky Street:

Franklin loved his home but his mum was expecting twins and wanted to sell their house for a bigger one. Franklin and his friend Josh made a plan to prevent this. They created some problems for the house and frightened off the buyer, Mr Bragg. Luckily for Franklin, his next-door neighbour solved the space problem by selling the family the upstairs of her house. Therefore, poor Mr Bragg had to buy number forty, an undesirable house of mice, damp and horrible wallpapers.

Then what happened?

Sun Yiqing writes as follows:

It was Christmas time when Mr Bragg finally bought number forty, Stanley Street, unwillingly. Actually, it "took his breath away".

The front door squeaked, and Mr Bragg came in. But he was soon appalled by the dinginess of the house. The dark damp seemed to cover every inch of the wall and the spider webs filled every corner. Mr Bragg just glowered without speaking.

The worst was yet to come. Mr Bragg decided to make a cup of coffee for himself. He loved coffee. It could comfort him.Then he sat on an old, dusty chair and was ready for a cup of - "Ouch!" he groaned painfully. Now Mr Bragg was sitting on the floor with a broken chair. The old chair was obviously too vulnerable to sit on. And then came that ringing sound- he broke his favourite cup because a big, fluffy spider was creeping across the cup just then!

"Enough! Thats totally enough and today is the worst Christmas Ive ever had! Now Im going to bed! " said Mr Bragg in an angry voice. Though he was tired of struggling to free himself from the terrible stairs which stuck his feet before he went to bed, he still couldnt fall asleep. Here came a nightmare. Something was running under his bed, probably pile of rats! Gradually, the noise lowered. With the wind chime stinkling on the balcony, he finally fell asleep and chuckled in his dream.

The next morning, Mr Bragg was so busy running up and down that he forgot to put his slippers on. Nobody could manage to know what he was doing. He got an idea - a capital idea.

The next spring came when everybody found the dirty old number forty had gone. Right there was a fine violet house - a coffee shop. The smell of coffee floated into every corner of the street. Everyone came to have a cup of coffee, even the boys. Franklin and Josh became frequent visitors and Mr Bragg wasnt mad at them any more.

The story ended here when Mr Bragg was holding a cup of coffee and standing on the new, spotless pine floor. He felt safe and warm. The best things in life cannot be bought but be created.

点评

读后续写最忌续貂式平铺直叙,而该文作者利用自己独特的措辞有效克服了索然寡味,比如,主人公买房时的unwillingly,入住后的glower,乃至站在咖啡店里时的safe and warm,寥寥数词,这个人物形象便栩栩如生,跃然纸上了。本篇续写基于原文,但不囿于原文,情节发展,层层递进。文章末句更是画龙点睛,充满哲思。这样的文章在语言、内容、情节,以及可读性方面均可圈可点。

案例9:读后感

姓名:梅雪生(高一)

学校:江苏省曲塘中学

梅雪生同学自高一第一学期开始学习《典范英语》,经过一年的实验,她的英文水平有了大幅提升,以下是她在读完《秘密花园》后写的一篇读后感。

The World Is a Garden

The story ofThe Secret Gardenhas left me a very deep impression and I feel it is very interesting and mysterious. After reading the book, I have a thought that the world is agarden.

The girl named Mary Lennox was the main character of the story whose parents were killed by cholera. Compared with many girls, she was very unlucky, because she was going to stay with the only relation she had left, her uncle in Yorkshire. As she arrived, the housekeeper made difficulties. She seemed to be unwelcomeand she was very sad. After going up to a broad staircase and walking along corridor after corridor. She was shown into a room where she met Martha the next day, who helped her with her buttons because Mary was unable to dress herself up. Martha told her many things, including the secret garden. Though the garden was locked and nowhere to be found, Mary still felt curious and was dying to find it out. One day, a cheery sound distracted her. She looked up and saw a robin flying overhead. Then something caught her eye. It was a long, rusty key. What happened next was purely magic. A strong gust of wind lifted the ivy and she saw a door knob. Here it was, the secret garden. It was such a peaceful place that nothing could disturb her. It soon became her own kingdom. For the rest of the week, she tended the garden. The rain began that night, she realized that there was a strange noise, which sounded like crying and came from the park she was not allowed to explore. But out of curiosity, she stepped into a huge room. Here she found her cousin Colin Crave, who couldn’t walk and was too sick to leave his bedroom. Mary told him her experiences in India. The rain lasted for several days. This time, however, instead of feeling bored and unhappy, Mary had Colin for company. In order to make him have the courage to live up, Mary told him about the secret garden. And when Mary took him in his wheel chair to visit the secret garden, he began his recovery. For the first few times he tried to walk, Colin could only shuffle forward a few steps. By the time summer turned to autumn, miracle happened, he was not jut walking, but running too. During the process, Mary also helped Colin to build his own confidence and it was unnecessary for her to have Martha dress her up any more. She got up early to enjoy the beauty of the secret garden. I have learned a lot from the story. First of all, as is known to all, it’s common to meet difficulties in our daily life. How should we face them?

We should have optimistic attitudes. Just as the saying goes Life is that a hardand tortuous journey, as time flies, we will forget the embarrassment we have met. In fact, we often feel that difficulties are burdens we need to avoid at all cost. If we accept difficulties as challenges that we can learn from, then they will lose a significant power. When we cheerfully face our problems, we usually develop the right attitude to be able to deal with them. Besides, we should learn from Mary to enjoy our colorful life and make it more meaningful. Secondly, we should show solicitude for the others.There are many people who feel depressed even helpless about life. But in modern society, people are gradually becoming indifferent. We are so burdened with our own business that we nearly have no time to care for others or share ideas with each other. Thus, what we should do is to try to tell them how beautiful the life is in order to help them build their own confidence. Thirdly, we should be in harmony with nature. We can enjoy the beauty of nature. Mountains, lakes, flowers and so on are all the works of art. What’s more, there are many beautiful places like the secret garden which are undiscovered and remained to be found by us.

In my opinion, the world is a garden where we can hear birds singing and smell the scent of flowers. Besides, the garden is full of love, where people help each other. In addition, the beautiful view helps us change the life we are used to. Therefore, if everyone gives a little love, the world will become a better place.

点评

高中同学的作品果然比小学、初中更上台阶。这篇读后感明显融入了更多深入但很接地气的思考。文章标题就很新颖:The World Is a Garden。作为读后感必不可少的一部分,故事梗概,叙述简洁,详略得当。而阐发心得时,作者质朴的文字,纯真的思想,均予人印象颇深。小说作者一定会为其作品在当下的中国有这样的读者知音,深感欣慰。这篇读后感和原作都回荡着一种对大自然的热爱。真可谓读什么样的作品,写什么样的文章,也造就什么样的人格。

案例10:读后感

姓名:赵宇晖(高二)

学校:成都市树德中学外国语校区

赵宇晖同学自高一起开始学习《典范英语》,以下是她实验一年后写的一篇读后感。

Jane Eyre: The Heroine of Ordinary Life

What is a legendary life like? Does one need to be a princess with balletic grace, or devote one’s whole life to advocating world peace? But not everyone can be glamorous or important, and the majority of people are as ordinary as Jane Eyre, the eponymous heroine in her great novel who is described by Charlotte Bronte as poor and not good-looking. However, Jane surpasses her surroundings with her courage and determination, and becomes a legend in her own way.

As a plain and lonely girl, Jane has gone through ups and downs in her tough life. In early childhood, she is bullied by her aunt and arrogant cousins after her uncle’s death and is subsequently sent to Lowood school. Gradually, her sorrow and anger turn into strength. Lowood is obviously not Jane’s paradise but still a purgatory, where disgrace and foul living conditions force her to be a fighter. Fortunately, at Lowood Jane first tastes love from Helen, a gentle and submissive soul who never says anything to defend herself.

All the misfortunes she experienced add fuel to her doughty personality. So she falls in love with Mr. Rochester regardless of his age and status but leaves him resolutely after discovering he is already married. Years later, Jane becomes as rich as Mr. Rochester used to be, so the sense of inferiority wears itself out and she finally marries her dear Edward when he is utterly bereft.

In my opinion, Jane has an extraordinary character. The death of her parents doesn’t make her feeble, but instead it gives her ability to swallow hardships.The abuse of her aunt and cousins doesn’t make her lower herself, but teaches her to be conscious of who are the ones needed cherishing.

In contrast, modern society is very difficult for a person to give up the happiness of his life for entirely moral reasons. The more possessions we own, the less are we able to make the right choice. Apparently, we enjoy more freedom than people inJane Eyre’s time, but our lives are more socially and spiritually constricted. Therefore unlike most people, I admire Jane not because of her courage to claim her rights, but rather because of her firmness and determination.

Often times people find themselves standing at life’s crossroads, where nobody knows what are waiting for them on each path, so they always hesitate before taking the first step. But the great souls would always know when it is necessary to embark on a new journey. Take Lu Xun for an example, he tried every effort to learn medical skills to save his fellow nationals but failed. Then, should he quit or choose another way which was full of uncertainty? He chose the latter unhesitatingly, which had made all the difference.

Everyone can be like Jane Eyre or Lu Xun. As a young entrepreneur, dare you start from scratch to accomplish you dream? Or do you just bow down to reality and follow the trend to find a stable job? I believe people like Jane Eyre who survive enough suffering and adversities must have the nerve to chase what they really want.

点评

名著的读后感有时不好写,往往因可写方面太多,反而难以下笔,但这位作者却独辟蹊径,在概括故事内容之后,以普通人中的英雄为主题,阐述己见,很耐人寻味。作为语言学习者,其行文措辞,却古雅老辣,比如:eponymous,oftentimes,doughty等词,均为old-fashioned用语,但这或许正是作者的个人风格,任何人都有权像主人公简▪爱那样勇敢追求自己的梦想,何况,本篇读后感的核心要义就在弘扬此主旨。这篇文章告诉我们,只要能对自己的思考进行梳理,用阅读中习得的语言,真实写出感受最深的一点体会,即可能成就一篇好文。

案例11:读后续写

姓名:王陈瑞(高一)

学校:成都实验外国语学校

王陈瑞同学自高一起学习《典范英语》,以下是他在读完《典范英语》(9)Tomb Raiders后发挥想象续写的一篇作文。

An Imaginary Sequel to Tomb Raiders

Previously onTomb Raiders:

Many ancient Egyptian tombs were broken open and stripped clean, either just a few years after they were sealed or in more recent times. At the beginning of the 20th century, archaeologists found relatively little was left in the tombs.

However, things changed when Howard Carter and his men dug in the valley to find the tomb of the boy pharaoh. At the beginning, they unearthed sixteen steps which led to the underground. Markings were seen at the foot of the staircase. There Carter found the symbol "Tutankhamun", the name of the boy pharaoh. They were in the boy pharaohs tomb! The first room they entered had already been robbed. Then they crawled their way through small holes and reached the burial chamber. In this room, the walls were decorated with paintings of bright and fresh colours. There were pictures of the boy pharaoh and a fully mummified king encased in a wooden shrine. To their surprise, as they moved on, they discovered that the shrine was unbroken. They anticipated that the mummy was inside there. With trembling hands, Carter pulled back the bolt that held the doors shut.

Then what happened?

Wang Chenrui writes as follows:

The shrine slowly moved with a long creak while dust was stirred up all around. The faint beam of the torch promptly vanished. Lady Evelyn let out a harsh scream. "Steady on," hissed Carter, "the torch just ran out of electricity. " He struck a match, squatting down. Something in the shrine was reflected in the flickering light. It was another coffin, a smaller one. It was obvious that the inner coffin was sealed up and hadnt ever been disturbed. Carter got closer. He was finally determined to open it. Then their nerves were stretched to breaking point.

After what seemed to be a lifetime, in a maze of light and dark, lay the dead king, Tutankhamun. They couldnt infer whether the young pharaoh was handsome or not from the withered mummy. Startlingly, the body was so well preserved that it seemed as if Tutankhamun was in a deep sleep. The sense of dread crept along Lady Evelyns spine.

"Theres nothing of importance. Lets go out of here," she said in a hushed voice. But it only echoed away in the dead silence.

"Mr. Carter?" Gloom spread out and Lady Evelyns heart began trembling like the candlel ight in the wind. Carter wasnt here. What was left was only the dead mummy, lying in the coffin.

"Carter?" She swallowed hard, her voice louder, "Dad?" Lady Evelyn couldnt help feeling scared, her tears streaming out. In a vain attempt to get out, Lady Evelyn retraced in darkness without touching a thing. The room was even larger than it was in her mind! She could not reach the edge of the room. Every time she glanced back, she saw the mummy the same distance away.

"Its superstitious nonsense. Its impossible..." She was trying to convince herself. In the end, she stopped, gasping wildly, tense all over. Then she lost all her strength, unable even to scream, as she saw the mummy sitting up slowly...

"Evelyn? Evelyn?"

Lady Evelyn woke up with sweat trickling down her forehead. She realised it was only a dream, a nightmare. Then she saw her dad smile, "Come on, girl. Its time to go to the tomb."

点评

该篇为读后续写,原作是文学作品,而这篇续作一个突出特点就是很有文学范儿,比如,The sense of dread crept along Lady Evelyn’s spine. 。再比如,trembling like the candle light in the wind. 。另一显著优点就是使用简单词汇表述思想,对任何职业的人来说,使用简易词汇清晰表达都是一种珍贵的能力,这位作者无疑通过阅读具备了这样的能力。

续写内容之惊悚,最终在梦的桥段里轻松化解,构思奇巧!而涉及人物因为描写之生动而予读者以深刻印象。整体而言,读此文,时而惊险,时而放松,但更多的是因作者文笔优美而深切感到的巨大欣慰。

有了阅读量打底,孩子们遣词造句的丰富性和灵活度显著提升。

读懂读透文本后,熟悉的人物、情节便是现成的写作话题,有针对性地采用仿写、扩写、简写、续写、创编等形式,孩子无话可说、千篇一律的问题迎刃而解,创造力和想象力得到极大地提升。

只有教师做英语教学的有心人,英语核心素养才不会沦为空谈。

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